My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.

Sunday, January 30, 2005


I can't and I won't and I don't and shan't and I couldn't and I wouldn't and I needn't.

Due to the above mentioned reasons, I will take a break from blogging.


posted by Niqabi at 1:22 AM | 1 caw-ments

Friday, January 28, 2005

I want to go there !! Posted by Hello

posted by Niqabi at 12:11 PM | 3 caw-ments

Life's like that.

I was planning on to make a very lively post today, but somehow something bad came up and now I don't feel like writing some cheery crap.Yeah, I'm like that.

posted by Niqabi at 10:37 AM | 2 caw-ments

Thursday, January 27, 2005


Something has touched chords within me and I have decided to change myself. My senses have swum back to reality which is very rare and Insha'Allah I'm going to consider myself seriously. I've been too busy, careless rather since the last seventeen years, not paying much attention to myself.
I don't want to wake up in the mornings with cloudy, depressed feelings- desperate and bewildered. The awful hopelessness of everything makes me sick! The depression or whatever it is, pressed like a heavy stone upon me, with small horizons and little hope left.I'm not just talking about myself, even if someone else feels the same way, my heart aches, quiet literally !
I know putting this resolve(which is not even a resolve since I'm yet to define 'what' measures I'll be taking) into action is actually much more complex and difficult then its mere foundation.But let's see. Not that anyone cares about it, least of all YOU ! I've talked at length with myself, by conducting an internal dialogue and with my poor cousinss about all this stuff a few million times before, but talking never helps unless you DO something about it ! And thats usually where I loose my marks.Okay I'm seriously struggling to say something practical but my mind is so cluttered with crap collected from all over the world that I just can't think of anything at the moment. I'm actually amazed at myself for even writing this because I would never condemn myself:P I'm so full of self-love, you see. When there aren't many people to love you, you start loving yourself, thats the best way to come to terms with the reality, I think.
To start with, I'm going to let all the harsh words and ta'anas from practically everyone , bounce right off me :P I will ventilate myself wherever and with whomever I want to, it doesn't necessarily has to be my cousin-I understand how I've eaten her head over the years with my constant theories and non practical ideas. Alot of people in this world are simply not worth getting so upset about.Some people are too stupid for words and they better not be given any thought. I have to accept the fact that misfortunes never come singly.Its natural for my heart and mind to be at constant war with each other. I should not think too much because then I don't make much sense.

And now that I'm reading this post after a couple of days, it seems to be the most boring post on blogspot, arghh !

posted by Niqabi at 7:45 AM | 5 caw-ments

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


Please do the following and I'll be over the moon :

*Manufacture some indifference.
*Treat us with less intensity.
*Laugh more.
*Make yourself occasionally unavailable.

Please note that the above lines have got nothing to do with my present friends so they needn't blow their heads off thinking to whom its directed to.

On a side-note I really like my friend with that painful kind of adoration which resists every cruelty, every harsh remark and everything mean.I have never been anything but raw and vulnerable when *....* was concerned.There, its out, out of my system, open to the world. Is that obsession? Obviously it can't be anything else! Its very confusing and I often wonder if I'm normal.

posted by Niqabi at 10:36 AM | 0 caw-ments

Monday, January 24, 2005

Event of the day: Started the school bus and humbly accepted a sharp ta'ana .
Total travelling time: 2 hours.
Eternal companion: Chij-Bachee.
Waiting for: Anisha-who else could it be ( I hope she never gets to read this!)
Homework: Tons of it.
Present ailments: Throbbing headache and all time PMS.
Present worries: Get hold of that darned Bay form !
Depression: Not reported.
Bruises: Nah !
Present prized possession: A bracelet.
Parents: Fine at the moment but I expect all sorts of moods from them.
Siblings: Don't matter, at all.
Friends: The less said the better.
Present crush: A certain phupi.
Plans for the future: Yes, going to sleep again and stop writing this junk.

Signed off.

posted by Niqabi at 8:07 AM | 5 caw-ments

Friday, January 21, 2005

Happy birthday

Happy birthday Weeping Seraph I hope you thoroughly enjoy your sweet 16, well you should in any case coz you've got freinds like me ! :P

Loads of love, hugs, kisses and alot of other stuff.

posted by Niqabi at 1:34 AM | 4 caw-ments

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Eid & bakraas

So like tomorrow we're having Eid.Exciting, eh?Its the time of the year when bakraas get a chance to be discussed.They are in the limelight and they seem to be enjoying this by shitting more than often and definately more than what we can conveniently stand.I have to admit that bakraas have a charming exterior and look somewhat pretty, especially when they're painted in pink.But do not EVER be decieved by their hurt-puppy expression because its simply their natural face when they're about to unleash secrets.The visual treat can be avoided by staying away from the scene but the stench can't be helped.The stink will not confine itself to a room or two but makes sure it meets every nose in person.My own nose is numb from the swaying winds.I have concluded that bakraas are shamefully self-centered creatures who don't give two hoots about the hell others have to go through.But I take comfort from the fact that this is not going to last long and will hopefully be history by tomorrow.I can't wait for their execution and that is the only thing I'm looking forward to.

posted by Niqabi at 9:56 AM | 3 caw-ments

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Niqabified in PURE INK Posted by Hello

posted by Niqabi at 8:49 AM | 6 caw-ments

Monday, January 17, 2005


Nothing's worse than the feeling of being restricted. It bugs me to no end and I greatly value my freedom-of all sorts. I cannot even imagine the idea of anyone trying to force something over me that i STRONGLY dislike ! How can people go about excersing so much force on anyone other than themselves?I hate the feeling of being possessed. Its good to be good to everyone, but too much intimacy seriously scares me.I'm glad to be with people who are very caring and kind to me, but a little bit of consideration on their part would make a world of difference.I'm not beating aroud the bush, its very simple to understand.I'm afraid I'm being too open with my feelings but thats what a blog is for, right!?

P.S : Do you hate me for writing that?

posted by Niqabi at 4:39 AM | 12 caw-ments

Saturday, January 15, 2005

A serious issue.

The intensity of emotional stir-up within my small circle of friends has left me faintly startled and drained of strength. I'm not accustomed to such big show of emotions, hence I don't know how to react to them. My only way to handle such situations is to keep talking no matter what, but sometimes it rubs up people the wrong way.
Yesterday, I witnessed an argument between two of my freind the likes of which I've never seen before. None of them was willing to back down and the spiteful conversation ended with an about-to-cry A and a stamping S. A terrible sight to behold, I must say. My own efforts to curb the tension in the air were futile and by the end of it I got so sick , I simply ran away. :)
I really don't understand how could people start to 'feel' so many diverse emotions stirring up at the same time and actually show them in public ! Isn't it very embarassing? At any rate, it is for me.
Every little thing is blown out of proportion which is actually just a matter of misunderstanding and stupidity for some. I hope the friction will subside by the time we meet again, insha'Allah. My friends are endlessly amusing people, with contrasting personalities and conflicting ideas , god knows how they're able to stick togather for so long . They live on an emotional diet of bickering, nervous tension and senstivity.
I'm desperately trying to understand the unexpected actions and the functioning of my friends' mind and emotions. They simply don't make sense sometimes.

posted by Niqabi at 3:17 AM | 3 caw-ments

Wednesday, January 12, 2005


With the invention of this heavenly word, our lives have gone simpler not forgetting our vocabulories too as the word has summed up so many concepts and meaning in just two letters-TT . Yes its pronounced exactly the way its written ;teetee. It is hard to come up with an exact definition for this word since its self invented and at the time of invention we weren't exactly worried about its definition or its officiality. Since im not doing much besides playing with big words , I should quickly tell you what it means , the closest definition ive found is to be 'pruddish'.And incase you have no idea what pruddish means ( which I didn't until recently) here is the dictionary definition:

One who is excessively concerned with being or appearing to be proper, modest, or righteous.

Anyone who's doing the 'right' thing,following the convention or simply following any fixed,culturally approved pattern is called a TT. We came up with this word as a counter culture(sociological terms being used) . Basically anyone who is not anything like us , is called a TT. Simple and sharp .

posted by Niqabi at 4:44 AM | 4 caw-ments

World distinction-obviously not mine.

Today's 12 of January and its probably the most eventful day of my life. Although the events do not directly affect me but they do very strongly impact the people close to me.

I'm not a professional whiner and I never intend to be one but certain things or rather parts of my body ( god knows whats their bloody problem) are always bent upon making my life horrible. For instance, my stomach seems to live a life of its own. Its always aching and never digesting. It makes me toss and turn with pain whenever it finds me having a good time with my freinds, worse still it attacks when I'm in the class with a group of 20-30 students , one very distant teacher suffering from cold maturity in pin-drop silence, classic !The aim of this dreadul action on the part of my stomach needs no explanation, embarassement is its key focus. Its simply the ill-timing that I hate the most. Although with the advent of other new and equally cruel aches, my stomach has ceased to play the role of the prime predator , it is now the venomous right eye that is taking the lead. I've got a serious eye infection producing a weird thin film of some sticky thingy in my eye. Does anyone know what it could possibly be? Like the exact name of that weird, sticky thin film.Next comes my throat, i don't have much complaints to lodge against the poor thing but this morning when I woke up , I felt very raw. A raw throat? It was definately sore but thats not very intense so I'll stick to my raw feeling. I count all of the above as 'events' , surely they deserve such a title keeping in view the amount of misery they are capable of creating.
I haven't called this the most eventful day of my life due to the above mentioned illnesses , ofcourse its because of something way more important, something that can cause me instant death due to over excitement and hyer-activity ( if it was ever to happen to me !),
something that can make a person such as my freind go crazy with joy and excitment.

Weeping seraph ( I finally figured out her blog name) got a WORLD DISTINCTION ( echo echo) in English literature by scoring 98 % !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I cannot even start to imagine how thrilled she must be or feel those electrical jolts of ectasy passing through her since I've never even crossed 95 % , leave alone world distinction in any subject ( not a very appropriate time for self-pity though) ! I'm really very,very happy for her and proud too . Am I right in feeling proud? Don't really think so but in any case I will be because I doubt I'll ever have a chance to feel that way over my own acheiments.
In case, you've noticed miss weeping seraph (which I very much doubt as you were busy jumping and dancing around the place), I did want to hug you and congratulate you over your astounding success as soon as I heard about it but since I'm not accustomed to such huggy-required-almost-essential events , I was a bit hesitent. Phew, off my system !!

So everyone, please be generous ,congratulate her and acknowledge her achievment . If
YOU don't have the skill or ability to claim a distinction , it doesn't mean no one has !!!

posted by Niqabi at 3:00 AM | 1 caw-ments

Sunday, January 09, 2005


A million and one thoughts are whirling in my mind but I have neither the energy nor the ability to put them into words. And I hate sundays.

posted by Niqabi at 4:56 AM | 3 caw-ments

Saturday, January 08, 2005


I hate people going to great lengths to hide their real self.

posted by Niqabi at 1:10 PM | 0 caw-ments

Friday, January 07, 2005

Miracle of Quran .

One of the Swiss pharmaceutical companies has started producing a new medicine called "Medicine of Quran"which allows the treatment of cataract without surgery. As the newspaper Ar-Raya, published in Qatar writes,"this drug which was synthesised by an Egyptian doctor Abdul Basit Muhammad fromthe secretions of human sweat glandsand has an effectiveness of 99 per centwith absolutely no side effects,was registered in Europe and the United States.It is also reported that one of the Swiss companiesproduces the new drug in the form of liquidand eye drops. The source of inspiration is Surah(chapter) Yusuf. Dr Abdul Basit Muhammad emphasised thathe obtained his inspiration from Surah Yusuf and said: "Once in the morning, I was reading Surah (chapter) Yusuf.My attention lingered over the 84th and successive ayats (verses). "Go with this shirt of mine,and cast it over the face of my fathe, he will become clear-sighted,and bring to me all your family"(Qur'an 12:93) They tell that Prophet Yakub who was mourning his sonYusuf (peace be upon them) in sadness and griefgot his eyes turned white and later when people cast overthe sorrowful father's face, the shirt of his son Yusuf,vision returned to him and he was able to see again.Here I started pondering.What could be there in the shirt of Yusuf?Finally I arrived at the decision that nothing except sweat could be on it.I concentrated my thoughts over the sweat and its composition.Then I proceeded to the laboratory for research. I carried out a series of experiments on rabbits.The results turned out to be positive.Later I performed treatment on 250 patients by administering the drugtwice a day for two weeks.Finally I achieved 99 per cent success and said to myself:" This is the miracle of the Quran"Dr Abdul Basit Muhammad presented the results of his researchto appropriate institutions in Europe and the United Statesdealing with patenting of new discoveries for consideration.After tests and research were performed,he finalised a contract with a Swiss companyon the production of the medicine on the condition thatthe package should clearly mention -"Medicine of Quran."In the words of the Egyptian scientist, the company accepted his conditionand started producing the new drug. (Courtesy-Ar-Raya, Qatar)Allah Ta'ala says in the Qur'an-e-Kareem:We send down from the Qur'an that which is a healing andmercy to those who believe. (QURAAN 17:82).


posted by Niqabi at 4:36 AM | 0 caw-ments

Thursday, January 06, 2005


Lacoste -pour hemme .. Posted by Hello
I'm suffering from cold maturity and bouts of sulkiness . Besides the usual I've finally found my freind's much loved Lacoste -Pour Hemme perfume bottle ! I walked all the way to Pace in the sweltering heat of winters just to know the price.Yes thats incredible, I know . I can't believe it myself.For your general information it costs Rs.2350 (roughly around 22 pounds) - the divine price. Please , I need your congratulations .

posted by Niqabi at 5:31 AM | 0 caw-ments

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Stomach madness

My stomach has been giving me a hard time for quiet a while now . Don't know the reason but it could be 'safi' . In any case its very painful and has full potential of making life hell so I wish to get rid of it as soon as possible . My own efforts are not providing any fruitful results but maybe your duas could do the trick , so it is requested you to make constant dua for my stomach.

By the way , happy new year and enjoy the winter !

posted by Niqabi at 8:45 AM | 2 caw-ments
Name: Niqabi
Location: Lahore, Pakistan
Occupation: Housewife
Religion: Islam
Interests: World War II, Jews, Hebrew, ancient sites, Muslim rule in Spain, revolutions, Vatican city and Islamic literature.
Books: The black album, Portofino, Ladies coupe, In beautiful disguises, The buddhist of Suburbia, The hidden life of Otto Frank.
Contact: niqabified [at] gmail [dot] com
Quote: "We plan and Allah plans and Allah is the best of planners"

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