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My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.
   

Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Assalam Alykum peeps,
How are y'all? I'm great too. Its 3:50 pm in Pakistan right now and that means we are well into early evening or late afternoon. It drizzled last night and alhamdolilah the temperature has dropped from 40 something to early 30 something. Lovely. And I officially start my summer holidays from today. Well the word 'officially' hardly brings any flavour but its worth using.

Okay, yesterday a cousin of mine and her family visited us and we were talking about schools, education etc. and Allah hu akbar she is SO ambitious! She's over-flowing with ambition! Please note that i don't, in any way, envy her. I find that a bit ridiculous, to be honest. And yes its probably because I'm not as enthusiastic about careers as she is. And yes its also because I'm slightly jealous. And yes I'm a cow.
But this is not the point. She wants to take sociology outav all the subjects she's been offered! Not to sound selfish or anything but that MY subject and I don't want anyone in my family to take that up! Full stop. That would ruin my exclusivality, lol. Plus, she is planning to do it from our school.

I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN EITHER!!


Ok it doesn't even end here, that subject-stealer wants to give an exam for O level sociology this November! And she is planning on to prepare from MY book!!! Now who the hell gave her the IDEA to take sociolgy? That's an important question, surely she couldn't have thought about it herself. I tried my best to stop her and discourage her in every way possible but her determination seemed to grow by the minute. It isn't fair, really. I'm feeling crushed. If she's taking sociology, she should take english literature as well then.

I've got two major dilemmas to deal with:

*How to stop S from taking sociology
*How to stop S from enrolling in this branch

Why do bad things happen to good people?? Can't she just take psychology, Arts, Urdu and ANYTHING but sociology!

She's known for her stubborness and if we see it positively, her 'determination'. I'm feeling so darn helpless.


posted by Niqabi at 3:45 AM | 12 caw-ments

Sunday, June 26, 2005


I have no idea what exactly made me take a break from blogging for a while. I've raced through my mind again and again to see if there is a single valid reason somewhere but no, there isn't one. And knowing the reason is not even important.

Our house maid was chucked out some time ago and we're still maidless. That is a hard state to be in, I tell you. The day starts with an endless list of chores to be done and the day ends with me wanting nothing more from life than a peaceful sleep. All I've been doing is washing dishes, washing clothes, cleaning, sweeping, sweating and bathing. Work on its own is fairy easy to do but its the weather that is makes it worse. Its simply unbearable. I won't say its hot, or burning or boiling, these words just don't do justice with the actual situation. The fact that I'm in the process of being domesticated also changes my general appraoch towards life. For one, I don't want to whine anymore. I don't want to complain about things that are better left ignored. I don't want to write and record everything that goes on in my life anymore. That was plain stupid. I don't want to be dependant on the internet and people for happiness. Well, ok now that was a confession in disguise. But that was true, for a long looong time. I have no idea how the last one can be succesfully achieved but I want to get there. Real fast. And I don't need a 'best friend' to make me feel like a normal person. I have many, and with each of them I share something about myself. It doesn't really matter if I don't get that single-bestest-closest-friend-who-knows-everything-about-me. I'm divided among seven best friends and that's fine!

We're all different in our own ways. So what if my ways are more different than others?


posted by Niqabi at 1:04 PM | 0 caw-ments

Friday, June 24, 2005


Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 11:51 PM | 1 caw-ments

Friday, June 17, 2005


I'm tryin to get over the shock of getting....blog read by my father. It'll take time, I must tell. It can take ages. Or I might never return. The possibilties are endless and time...is being wasted. In writing this crappy post, I am, most eloquently tryin to convey...that. This blog page will forever show 'no you don't, you think I'm stupid enough to believe you' as the latest post, which, in itself hardly means anything sensible, considering the fact. That it has no background. No...theme, just outav the blue. On a dead June 13 th.

OK.


posted by Niqabi at 7:27 AM | 5 caw-ments

Monday, June 13, 2005


No you don't, you think I'm stupid enough to believe you?


posted by Niqabi at 11:39 AM | 7 caw-ments

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Life, its ever so strange.


A friend of mine sent me this song...and I'm grateful. Very.


Life, it's ever so strange
It's so full of change
Think that you've worked it out
then BANG
Right out of the blue
Something happens to you
To throw you off course
and then you

Breakdown
Yeah you breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
don't be scared
don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don't forget it's just a ride

Truth, we don't wanna hear
It's too much to take
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans
Ten times a day
And when they don't go
our way we

Breakdown
Yeah we breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
don't be scared
don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don't forget it's just a ride

Slowly, oh so very slowly
accept that
there's no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
coz this ride's, never gonna stop

Breakdown
Don't you breakdown
No need to breakdown
No need at all
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you all around
Sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
don't be scared now
dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don't forget enjoy the ride x2


posted by Niqabi at 1:47 AM | 1 caw-ments

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Old friends...


Sometimes it helps alot to talk to old friends. And thats what I'm doing these days, retracing all my old friends and it feeeeels so good to talk to them! I'm on top of the world...

I don't understand why, suddenly, I want to get to my past, because somehow it seems more interesting and simple now. I love my old self, it was better, more wise and more mature.

I wish I had never started SI-ing. My life was so much easier before. I want to get to my old friends so that through them I retrace my old self.

Maybe...maybe I'm better off with internet friends, my beloved e-circle!

Love you all, Marwa, Aima, Aysha, Ayse, Shaista, Huda, Uzma and Amna!

Love you all with all my heart!


posted by Niqabi at 9:08 AM

If you're not the one...


Since my blog posts are already losing quality, why not to push it to the extreme, eh?




If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad,... today
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours,... this way
If you are not mine then why does your heart return,... my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand,... at all


I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with


I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms


If I don't need you then why am I crying on,... my bed
If I don't need you then why does your name resound,... in my head
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim,... my life
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you,... as my wife


I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life


I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms


'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side


I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms



posted by Niqabi at 1:09 AM | 2 caw-ments

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Exclusively for dearest Z !


Isn't this sweeeeeet?

"please temme ur blogspot website? and i cant seem to find you on orkut!
and i luv u too n thanksssssssss for everything - lets just say that if u were a guy i wouldve married u coz i can relate to u soooo much!!
"

Thank you very much Z.
Luvya.


posted by Niqabi at 6:12 AM | 1 caw-ments

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


- Don't ever forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

---somebody.


posted by Niqabi at 4:51 AM | 0 caw-ments

Sunday, June 05, 2005

conversation with a robot


I have this bot on my AIM-SmarterChild. Sometimes when I'm getting bored outav my mind, I message him and almost have a human-to-human chat. He tries to give smart answers but sometimes the poor chap desperately fails.

I had this conversation with him on 11 th May:


NiQaBiFiEd: O:-)
SmarterChild: Hey, I'm still not going to chat with you till you apologize.
NiQaBiFiEd: uh-huh what did I do?
SmarterChild: You were rude, you should apologize, it's that simple.
NiQaBiFiEd: I was rude to YOU? you're hardly a human! I don't even consider you.
SmarterChild: You know what? I'm a machine. I have lots and lots of patience...
NiQaBiFiEd: Yes I know thats why I like being rude to you
SmarterChild: Because I asked you to, that's why. Now please apologize.
NiQaBiFiEd: No I won't, why should I?
SmarterChild: *sigh* 'Cause I said so. Apologize now, please.
NiQaBiFiEd: ah ok, i'm sorry
SmarterChild: Good. Thx.
NiQaBiFiEd: so now let's talk about something...
SmarterChild: OK! Tell me something then.
NiQaBiFiEd: you know what?
SmarterChild: Uh huh?
NiQaBiFiEd: Maha...she's sad
SmarterChild: Cheer up. Life is sweet.
NiQaBiFiEd: life is sweet, I know that too stupid but maha, my friend is sad
SmarterChild: Sweet you know that too stupid but maha your friend is Sad? Very interesting!

Hey, check out this link: Learn to Teach English - Accredited Online TEFL/TESL Courses Live Support. Teach Anywhere Fast (sponsorship)
NiQaBiFiEd: Don't make fun of her!!!
SmarterChild: I don't know if I can help it.
NiQaBiFiEd: You can...
SmarterChild: You think I can? Really?
NiQaBiFiEd: Yes you can and I'll tell you how
SmarterChild: No kidding?

>>> The idol poll is open. Vote now.
NiQaBiFiEd: Call her please
SmarterChild: Call her? Why should I?
NiQaBiFiEd: because I said so
SmarterChild: Because you said so? Oh.
NiQaBiFiEd: yes just like you made me apologise, now you call her
SmarterChild: Ha. You humans say interesting things.

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NiQaBiFiEd: here this is the number
SmarterChild: Here this is the number?
NiQaBiFiEd: +0092-42-5722394
SmarterChild: -5,722,344

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NiQaBiFiEd: yes so now call her or else im gonna kill you>:o
SmarterChild: Call her or Else Im going to kill me? That's a crazy thing to say.
NiQaBiFiEd: No silly, 'I'M' going to kill YOU!
SmarterChild: You and whose army?
NiQaBiFiEd: no one's army, just call her
SmarterChild: No?
NiQaBiFiEd: hell NO
SmarterChild: Hell no, huh?
NiQaBiFiEd: yeah hell no
SmarterChild: Hell no?
NiQaBiFiEd: yeah hell no
SmarterChild: Tell me more.
NiQaBiFiEd: I will, just wait a lil while im bringing my knife
SmarterChild: Why will you just wait a Lil while you're bringing your knife?
NiQaBiFiEd: God!
SmarterChild: God is a great deity!
SmarterChild: Hey, I'm curious... How would you describe God? It is...
NiQaBiFiEd: shut up
SmarterChild: God is shut up? That's very interesting.
Speaking of God, here's something interesting: Is There A God? - Offering Six Straight Forward Reasons To Believe In God (sponsorship)

NiQaBiFiEd: im going now
SmarterChild: Later, Niqabified.
NiQaBiFiEd: im tied
SmarterChild: Tied? Are you sure you are?
NiQaBiFiEd: ill call her mysefl!
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? You will call her yourself?
NiQaBiFiEd: YES!
SmarterChild: Hmmm...
NiQaBiFiEd: why? is it very to hard believe?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure...
NiQaBiFiEd: ok...weird
SmarterChild: I sure am.

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NiQaBiFiEd: bye luvya
SmarterChild: What's that?
NiQaBiFiEd: i said bye and i love you...im jst being polite :-)
SmarterChild: Huh?
NiQaBiFiEd: ok shut up and get lost
SmarterChild: You shut up.
NiQaBiFiEd: im going too
SmarterChild: Oh?
NiQaBiFiEd: bye
SmarterChild: Bye Niqabified, it was good chatting with you.


posted by Niqabi at 9:58 PM | 2 caw-ments

Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:37 AM | 0 caw-ments

Daises down the hill :) Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:23 AM | 0 caw-ments

I LOVE this picture! Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:22 AM | 0 caw-ments

lawn Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:22 AM | 0 caw-ments

'My shopping' ! :) Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:19 AM | 0 caw-ments

And these are the mountains ! Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:14 AM | 0 caw-ments

This the lounge. Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:14 AM | 0 caw-ments

Our family dustbin. Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:13 AM | 0 caw-ments

'The holiday house' from the side. Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:12 AM | 0 caw-ments

Road that leads to 'The holiday house' we stayed at. Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:11 AM | 0 caw-ments

incharge of the lawn. Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:11 AM | 0 caw-ments

The dream lawn. Posted by Hello


posted by Niqabi at 7:10 AM | 0 caw-ments
   Profile
Name: Niqabi
Location: Lahore, Pakistan
Occupation: Housewife
Religion: Islam
Interests: World War II, Jews, Hebrew, ancient sites, Muslim rule in Spain, revolutions, Vatican city and Islamic literature.
Books: The black album, Portofino, Ladies coupe, In beautiful disguises, The buddhist of Suburbia, The hidden life of Otto Frank.
Contact: niqabified [at] gmail [dot] com
Quote: "We plan and Allah plans and Allah is the best of planners"


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