Million Miles

My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

I think I ought to write something about the earthquake that shattered so many lives. The epicenter of the quake was in north Pakistan, fortunetly Lahore was saved from any major dectruction but the threatening presense was felt and feared.

In the morning of 8 th Oct. 2005, bracing ourselves with everything SAT-scholastic apptitude test- and everything that can humanly be crammed in a months' time, we sat in the examination Hall waiting for the exam to commence. Except for a few random racous noises from one of the instructors, the atmosphere was calm, atleast on the surface. Some were praying fervently, some were looking intently at their desks, some were busy arranging their stationary, some were deeply engrossed in staring at the ceiling, some were playing with their fingers and biting off over-grown nails, some were radiating the im-not-bothered-about-anything-in-the-world attitude, some were dying with anxiety and some were running to have their last pee. But whatever the activity, we all shared the same thought; SAT.

I was fixing the safety pin on my niqab when something started to shake. At first I thought it was the boy behind me, playing with his legs but when I looked up I saw everyone staring at each other, trying to confirm their fears. The ground shook more and we all realised that this was no ordinary earthquake. It was quiet intense. The walls shivered, the floor floated and the calmness evaporated. A storm of horrible thoughts hit me. In those three agonising minutes, I imagined the walls caving in, the roof collapsing and dying under the debris, without doing anything significant in my life. I felt so unprepared and weak.

Maybe it was the contrast that made the earthquake more unexpected than usual. In that huge hall with strong walls and large domes, with men in classy suits, polished shoes and ties swinging with an air of urgency and business, with microphones and a well organized stage, with a wall clock and properly arranged desks, with precision and infallibility, the concept of an earthquake wrecking up this complete and idyllic world seemed so alien.

But it did hit, jolted us back to life, yanked us out from oblivion and set us right in the middle of reality. No matter how safe we think we are, no matter how many layers of protection we weave around ourselves, no matter how much we pretend to be in control of everything, we're still vulnerable and helpess infront of nature. Allah asserts his supremecy and Will from time to time.

Besides coping with the massive destruction, some people are asking...

Why was it Muzaffarabad? Why Balakot? Why Mansehra? Why the harmless villages? Why Kashmir? Why those poor, innocent people of the mountains? Why not us? Why not Lahore? Why not Karachi? Why not Farieha Altaf...

And I've been thinking about it for a week now. The only thing that seems to make any sense in this chaos is the consolation that the tens of thousands of people who died, are shaheed. They died in a state of fast, they're successful, they got their ultimate goal; jannat. But this is a test for us. For the people who'v been left behind to face the tragedy and come to terms with it. We've been warned. We've been shaken out of our safe lives where we sin and still have the audacity to feel proud about it, where we lose humanity and then try to justify it.

In blaming the weak infrastructure, the government, the haram-khore contractors, the terrain of the area etc. we're missing the point. Allah didn't send an earthquake so that we spend our evenings blaming everyone for every class of problem, over a warm cup of tea. And yes I believe that earthquakes are a form of adhaab sent by Allah and that they're occurance is not merely a coincidence. Ofcourse we have a scientific explanation for them but that is only because Allah doesn't do anything without 'sabab'. Science explains the causes but not the question that why did it happen in the first place. Why was it Kashmir, precisely and not the Galliyat, for instance? Why was it only one building in Islamabad and not more? Why did that 70 plus, Mah bibi survived when 17 year old Zohair Iqbal died? Its the selection of few and the evident use of choice that implies that there is some force controlling this. There is someone who decides and plans. There is someone who creates and crashes, who saves one, yet buries another. And that force is Allah. We are not to question His actions because we do not have the hikmet to understand the reason behind them. We can only submit to His commands and learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others. We can ask for forgiveness and try harder than before.

posted by Niqabi at 8:31 AM

6 Comments:

Anonymous said...

'Why the harmless villages? Why Kashmir?'
why not 10 Downing Street? why not the head of uncle blair and uncle bush?? too many WHY's there to find answers to...
just goes to show how fragile ones life is, and how we are just mere NOTHINGS -
just pray for people who have lost their everything, thats all you and i really can do.

1:53 PM

Unknown said...

There are coincidences in the specific wreckage that make one wonder...but I still refuse to say it was Allah mian's wrath...could be a test fer people...

btw I'm back...in IBD rite now...will reach lahore tomorrow morn...and boy do i have stories

11:04 AM

Anonymous said...

I would be interestedin hearing from Usman. have been thinking over the same question lately as i am sure many around the world are. well i think thse who died were already in hell i suppose life after death would be better for them and then again Allah has shown it to those who are in the wrong so that THEY may learn a lesson. What's the point of killing the sinners and then aking the better look at it. thats my bit of logic i guess

6:52 PM

ATY said...

why not bush? why not us with our heaps of sins?
one of my literature teachers said that it wasn't a punishment because if it was....justice wud have been meted out to all of us...and no one wud have anything to read over here...
neways...it's done...it's just an example of what Allah can do...u saw ur panic in Avari....think what the panic of the sinners wud be on the Day of Judgement...whne the very mountain wud be like carded wool....no rubble or anything...carded wool...
i dun think i can ever change back to the self-centred self-pitying thing that i was after this...an di can't understand how any1 can ever be the same after this if they have any sense at all...

i just wish i cud do more....wish i was a guy so i cud go to these places in safety...only today i saw a pic of a stooped old woman leaving a relief camp empty-handed...after all thoses donations and all thoses trucks....she's empty-handed...ppl fighting over sacks of rice...it's apthetic, simply pathetic...we must be really bad for such a warning as this...

8:00 AM

Niqabi said...

Everyones entitled to his/her view. Having said that I'd like to say that, there is something for US TO LEARN FROM THE EARTHQUAKE!
I'm not saying that the kashmiris were any worse off than us, infact they were better in many ways.

My point is, this tragedy is an ibret for us. When people stop performing

'amr bil ma'aroof wa nahi anil munkir' -the good and the bad, both suffer. There is no discrimination then.

An example would be of Bani-Israel.

10:40 AM

Anonymous said...

Olá amizade. Meu nome é Ernísio Martines Dias. Sou um sujeito calmo, mas de uma hora para outra posso me tornar agressivo se percebo que não estou conseguindo o que quero. Reconheço que sou mesmo um mau caráter, desonesto e sem escrúpulos, que só penso em ganhar dinheiro à custa dos outros, em ter lucro financeiro em tudo, como sonegar impostos e enganar as pessoas com minha lábia. Eu mesmo acredito na mentira que digo a todo o momento e acabo procurando fazer as coisas por baixo dos panos, pelo modo que me parece ser mais fácil.
Há antídoto para um marginal corrupto? Aceito sugestões construtivas no meu e-mail ernisio@vba.com.br Sabe, me sinto com duas faces. A outra é diferente, pois quando não estou trabalhando, me sinto frágil e até estou com tendência a gostar de homens. Isso é agonizante! Por tudo isso, acabo tendo depressão e insônia, mas ainda estou com esperanças de mudar esta minha vida para melhor e conto com a sua ajuda. Obrigado.

11:24 PM