Million Miles

My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

These days, inspite of drowning in work and everything SAT I still get plenty of time to think and wonder. That is probably because I have mastered the art of multi-tasking and leaving things half-done. I'm a sickly lazy person with no motivation whatsoever for anything significant. Not that I don't have a life, mind you, but just lacking in enthusism, I guess.

Every day I come across people whos lives are lived for the sole purpose of finding a suitable boyfriend or getting straight A's or getting into a medical/engineering college or an art school, etc. Their faces shadowing determination and will to achieve, eyes glinting with anticipation and full of vigour. Their expression suggesting only one thing; conviction. These people, with their directions set straight are following their paths fearlessly. They emanate such unflagging energy that sometimes makes me envious. They're beaming with self-confidence and basking in the assurance of a respectable livelihood. While I stand on the sidelines, eyeing them, enving them and sometimes disgusted by them, silently hoping.

I'm not trying to renounce the attainment of any of the above. I'm only trying to compare and analyze my situation and see where I stand.

Now what do I have?

I will, due to obvious reasons not end up in a medical/engineering college, I am not likely to cling to a boyfriend for any support whatsoever and I will never get straight A's. That's a promise! I'm not being a bitter pessimist here, I'm only voicing reality. The only thing that I have is the strengh I draw from practising my religion. Would that be enough to help me sail through life? Would it protect me from all the harshness that comes with living? Would it give me the peace I seek? Would it provide me everything that I will ever need?

Hopefully it will because my life depends on it :)

posted by Niqabi at 7:22 AM

9 Comments:

zaza said...

MashAllah!!
my view is that...people who seek happiness through boyfrds, music and other worldly things are never fully content. yaani keh sure they are happy but there is something that they are always looking for. happy but not fully content and inshallah, keep practicing your religion and you'll feel great. inshallah, and alhamdolillah.
may Allah guide you on the straight path and be there for you through thick and through thin. ameen. iLoveU.

12:56 PM

Unknown said...

"my view is that...people who seek happiness through boyfrds, music and other worldly things are never fully content. yaani keh sure they are happy but there is something that they are always looking for. happy but not fully content and inshallah, keep practicing your religion and you'll feel great"

My friend! That's quite naive. With time you'll learn that people like me and you and a lot of others with emotional canvases big enuff to wrap the whole frickin' earth in, suffer more than that particular populace with BF's/Gf's and sex and parties...and as far as contentment is concerned, whenw as the last time YOU urself felt totally content and happy and satisfied on a long-term basis? If you think abt it honestly, the religious and the conservative nd the happy-with-religion ppl (including moi) feel less content and convinced...but that's just a thought I'm throwing out...

I will write on this too inshAllah some time...

1:57 PM

zaza said...

usman, youve woken up the tornado!!
theres a LOT more i want to say but you can hardly do that thru a blog bloody comment, can you? i wasnt even talking to YOU anyway!!
Niqabified said that her religion is the thing her life depends on and i was just backing her up.
and you think you know it all - wakey wakey, youre not the only one!!

5:12 AM

Anonymous said...

Those who cling onto worldly, material things will never find true peace of the heart or contentment, because the goal posts always move. The thing that DOES stay the same is Allah. Truly, hearts find rest in the rememberance of Allah. Anything else might bring temporary happiness but the REAL happiness is in remembering and worshipping Allah.

1:41 PM

Anonymous said...

Listen to this. It's a short khutbah.

http://www.spubs.com/sps/sad/mp3.cfm?scn=dl&LeID=107

5:52 PM

Niqabi said...

Assalam Alykum all my lovely commentors:)

Zab: Jazakallah for backing me up and lighting this with your sweet optimism. Ameen to all your duas:)

Usman: I didn't quiet understand what you said in that comment.
"If you think abt it honestly, the religious and the conservative nd the happy-with-religion ppl (including moi) feel less content and convinced...but that's just a thought I'm throwing out..."

Can you please elaborate, when you get the chance?

Illusion: Jazakallah bhai and sure you can link me up.

Anonymous: A great big Jazakallah for that khutbah! Really helpful. Whoever you are, may Allah keep you happy and contended. Ameen.

8:21 AM

Unknown said...

I left a long comment here but the server ate it up...

will elaborate more on it when time permits...a promise both to Zab and Niqabi...

right now just too tired from shifting back to lahore...

12:38 PM

Anonymous said...

i think what the server was trying to tell you something. haha
anyway do elaborate. we are desperately waiting to be enlightened, so please bless us when time allows you to do so.

1:31 PM

Unknown said...

lol...touche!

4:47 AM