Million Miles

My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

My cousin thinks I'm revealing too much of myself on the blog. Is that true? Fortunetly yes, for once. Ofcourse I do realise when I say personal stuff about myself which no one, other than a few close friends should know. But sometimes opening up to complete strangers is not a bad idea. I like the feeling of being transparent somewhere, to let people see, understand and assume things about me based on who I am, in reality.

I've got to stop pretending to be cheerfully happy all the time. It took me ages to realise that its no matter of shame to publicly accept that you have your ups and downs, highs and lows. To feel sad, hollow or just depressed once in a while is not a sign of abnormality! I should be able to accept it as part of myself. You can't run the world the way you want, you're bound to be sad/angry at one point or another. It happens and its better if we accept it and let it roll over to the other side. I mean even if you're basking in the sweetness of a recent event or gesture, the thought of your grave is bound to make you sad. You can't escape sadness but you can choose the way you want to deal with it. I thought the best way was to mask it. A thoroughly rotten approach, I tell you. If you keep concealing your sadness, you'd end up completely screening all your emotions, which shuts you down and alieniates you from the rest of the human race. So after experiecning alot of the above, I think if you can unwrap yourself, emotionally speaking, do it. Its relieving, way better than bottling all that hurt and sorrow inside because eventually it turns into this disgusting mass that eats you up.

I'm going to write it all out. Right here...

posted by Niqabi at 7:44 AM

8 Comments:

Unknown said...

Venting ourselves...that's one of the great things abt blogs. I have an exam soon, and all the boredom and teh struggle to keep studying comes out when I write on my page. I pen my instant thoughts and emotions sometimes, and it's really fun! It's a sort of virtual contact with people all over the world while I'm in prison...

But remember, you should vent your emotions, but not 'details' about your personal life. They should stay with you...eg. no names of really important people or something that gives them away to the general public...close group of friends finding out them is usually fine for me, but will vary from person to person...

10:31 AM

Unknown said...

I've been known to do that, yes...

10:50 PM

Niqabi said...

Usman: Yeah bhai, true say. But being an introvert, I can 'easily' resist to hide the details. So no pwoblem for me :)

But ofcourse I'd never want anyone from my family to read this. It would be plain awkward.

Hey, abt the dialogue between Zakir Naik and Salman Rushdie, S told me its going to be held some time around November.

6:57 AM

Unknown said...

oh goody. I'll inshAllah be free of the exam shit by then...

I'm sure, you'll be careful while venting...and I doubt many people in ur family will be interestd in blogging...young, teenage cousins excepted...

8:42 AM

zaza said...

hey, its ur blog so shudnt be much of a problemo to anyone else. but if it all gets too much, try keeping a journal or diary ?

10:25 AM

Unknown said...

taking the weekend off? :)

10:49 PM

Niqabi said...

lol..yeah kinda. Got lots of homework and stuff piled up. Stayed ay S's place on Friday night and HAD SO MUCH FUN:D. khyr insha'Allah i will update soon :)

4:52 AM

Unknown said...

You mean you stayed at my place???

lol...I don't get to stay at my place that much (at least for the past 5 years)...

1:25 AM