Million Miles

My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Hmmm...

Our goal in life? Just want to write something today. Nah, I'm not a writer, can't ever be. Not possible. Still, I don't understand that do why I even have the urge to write. It shouldn't exist, should it? I mean what's the point of wanting to write when you can't write well? Writing for venting is good but it’s without substance, something coming direct from the heart without first getting filtered by the mind; could be amazingly interesting or could be horribly boring. But in any case, it’s not stable. Emotions disturb writing. They deviate you and often discolor your words. Sentiments always taints the picture adding a spice or two of its own. Therefore I don't consider reading venting\whining to be worthwhile. If you're lucky to catch an audience that's probably only because they're sorry people like yourself. I'd love to be like Hanif Kureshi, while I often get disgusted by his vulgar approach and sick descriptions, I like the fluency of his expression and his ability to mould the language the way he wants to. He is innovative with words, not forming new ones but giving different shades of meaning to the same word. Making the familiar interesting. That’s an incredible gift, in my opinion.

Anyway, I was going through my mind and I realized that I can't be happy when I know that I'm wrong. My guilt factor is too strong to let my live peacefully in sin. Alhamdolilah. But the problem is that almost every enjoyable thing or activity is in one way or another against Islam. Not that Islam means no fun but that the fun of the world today is 90% not jaiz. How to stop oneself from the influence of that forbidden 'other? That's something we need to ponder and focus upon. I'm not talking about boys, thank you, but haram stuff in general. For instance, music is haram. Ahem. A very personal opinion. And I love it. Every time I listen to it, I want to go back to my former self, which used to give me instant gratification but long-term unhappiness. How to overcome my weaknesses in such a way that I eventually consider myself complete without them? That should be an essay question carrying 25 marks. I'm sure this is something that is really going to help us in the world today. Have you ever thought that why do we study so much stuff that we're never going to put to use? I'm sure you must all have, at one point or another. Why do we exert our energies over something that will be learnt and conveniently forgotten after the exam? Are we so shallow that we resort to such meaningless activities? Is maximizing our wealth the only aim? We want to have a sound education because we want to have a good job. And we want to have a good job so that we marry off well and lead our lives relatively better. Is that not right? The ultimate aim is to enjoy a more prosperous life than our parents. That sounds so hollow, so worthless and so lame. Clearly, money is very important. It has such a strong role to play in our lives, no matter where we are and what we do. But don't you think its importance is being overplayed? Exaggerated? Surely, I mean surely we can't be sent to this world to gain profits upon profits? That could not be, because our Allah is not unjust. Not every one in this world has equal opportunity in terms of wealth. Some have better chances of prospering than others. Or, speaking in terms of sociology, have greater life chances. So if this was to be the divine yardstick then they'd be so much chaos and injustice. Our standard is surely something just, something that is available to all. Something that can be done or practiced or consumed every where and by everyone. So I'm sure and definite that it is something wholly and souly non-material; it is faith and it is piety and it is strength and conviction of religion. I'm getting at something, that you must understand, realize and be ready to accept, my dear.

posted by Niqabi at 4:53 AM

2 Comments:

Niqabi said...

You've got a point, thats right. Money is definately important but I just don't think it should be our 'goal' in life. I'm completely alright with having more money but it doesn't give much lasting satisfaction. And achievment of a goal should bring contentment or something close to it, which money doesn't...

Hence my confusion...

10:11 AM

Anonymous said...

a recent series of articles in johns hopkins university mag about reconsidering the list of seven sins in christianity. thought might interest you is here.
Although i am sure you are not for such reconsiderations in Islam.hehe!

3:01 AM