Million Miles

My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

3 rd February'2005 - emotional trips to the toilet.

Due to a sudden blasting and mind bloggling event I have decided to cut my break short. I simply had to write this. I'm sorry. I know you're laughing at me now, especially you Chij, but khyr its ok, because thats what you do most of the time. Don't act like a TT and get all teary because you know I'm just joking.

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She yelled at me so hard I thought I was gonna hit her. The other option was to cry but I try my utmost not to do that sort of thing at school. Reasons are beyond your comprehension. I completely understand that she was very upset about her brother but why did she have to shout so loud in order to ventilate her worries?I wasn't in the least bit expecting her to stride towards us with that frowned face in that equally frowning sun and yell at us. I can take the yelling as I usually do with my mother but the insult--she simply crossed the line. I've probably never been this much insulted in my entire life. OK, that was exaggerated. I've had my share of insults but they all pale in comparison with the one today. And for once, my habit of chewing whatever comes to my hands paid off. This time it was a Freddo's wrapper idly lying on the ground that served the purpose of my ventilator. Don't get the impression that I ventilate on wrappers, I'm honestly not that sad. But it did distract me.

Since I hadn't spoken one word all throughout the conversation except for saying that I'm not laughing, I needed to do something about my pent-up frustration. Which I eventualy did, with the help of my friend's neck. Do I need to say any further? Yes I used her neck and my hands to get that FULL BLASTING EFFECT :P Don't worry, she's among the living.
Also I'm going to be more inconsiderate from now on. I know my consideration for other people is already short to start with but it always give me more grief than relief so I best get rid of it.

The bottom line is, I shall continue chewing paper and all sorts of crap , come what may.

posted by Niqabi at 4:08 AM

5 Comments:

ATY said...

i'm sorry..i'm so sorry about this...this is just the worst thing that cud have happened...it really sucks the way u all are affected by it....and all she can say is that u three cudn't care less because she saw u laughing after she yelled at u....this isn't the first time it's happened, she's done this to me abt N too. all i can say is that it's in God's hands rightnow...

4:48 AM

Niqabi said...

ATY: As I told you before, I still love you so why bother?

Chij-Bachee: I'm sorry I can't remember what you wrote, it was so long but I completely understand your anger. I mean I'd be pretty dumb if I wouldn't because half of the insults were directed at me !

And you know I managed to make a civilised comment about it because clearly I'm not as upset as you are. No worries abt the harsh remark or whatever , you can leave any sort of thing you want here, as long as you keep commnenting, its ok with me. yes I know I'm sad in that sense.
You didn't want me to come to the bathroom? Weird. I wouldn't definately make fun of something as serious as that. And don't say you know I will, because nothing of this sort has ever happened before. I thought I was being supportive...well ok I was simply standing there but honetsly if M wasn't there I would have 'tried' to do sommet. OK nothing big just a quick huggie and then perhaps...well yeah you're right I would have taken you to M anyway.But the point is, I CAME TO THE BATHROOM BECAUSE OF YOU !!! And you've got the nerve to say that you didn't want me there ! God, I even bent down to check your shoes and confirm that its you! I even gave her the idea of peeking at you from the top by standing on the flush(with the lid closed-please dont imagine anything). You seriously depress me sometimes. The more I try to be considerate, the more you snub me. The more I try to love you, the more you try to hurt me. The more I try to be less-mean, the more you make fun of me. The more I try....I'm sorry I can't carry on. My fingers are choked.

Sigh. Life is like that I s'pose.Or maybe I'm a lil crazy.Why do you think I'd be having crushes with over 60 year olds and people I've never seen. Or strangling people or never showng off my clothes or never hugging people or ....bringing Olve Oil to the school, that got my bag all oiled up and I had to hold it for 1 complete hour during my bus ride. Now thats what hurts me BIGTIME>

7:25 AM

ATY said...

ok chij, i read ur comment now...but i knew u were insulted before i read it...and i'm really ashamed.
yes u're right, she had absolutely NO cause to go on like that...that's what i tried to explain to her, but she smply refused...she said that it was a choice (for me) between u 3 and her...she's so childish and so immature that seh wudn't accept my saying that i still am friends with u...then she had the nerve to say that it was me who is immature!!
but all i want to say is that no matter how close a friend she is, i can't back her up, however much she demands that i shud.
what she cried for seemed a bit too draami for me...she had no cause to cry....i wish i had known u were crying then; i'd have killed her on the spot...to think that she made u shed tears.....!!!!!!!!!! i can't control myself when i think of u crying....gosh, i'm getting a little hysterical here...well, Em says it'll be some time before u'll chat with me...but i really want to talk to u...God knows what u think abt me...

11:26 AM

Niqabi said...

Ahh Allah ! Nahi yaar, I was exaggerating it ! But its all good if you think that I care and that line....was DIVINE ! No worries about my name being mentioned there, no REAL STRANGERS read my blog anyway.Thank you again for being so polite. That made a world of difference.

6:44 PM

Niqabi said...

Chij-Bachee: No you didn't but I'm glad you did now. And I know its really stupid of me to comment but I'm too bored to do anything productive.:D

12:38 PM