Afshan said...
If you sincerely feel doubtful over going, or are going to go insane if you do wind up attending and feeling guilty - stay without! InshaAllah Khair.
Offending people because you have a different perspective on things is tough. I've been labeled as 'the snooty one' (or however you'd translate that in urdu) by even my closest relatives! I'm actually quite naive and think the best of people, and it's tough for them that I don't care enough into changing their minds about the kind of person I am. In the end, Allah is to judge.
I suggest you send a really, really, really nice present. Maybe hand deliver it the day of or the day before, stating you might not be able to attend but adore her to pieces (or something...equally cheesy haha)
I feel just as retarded attending a mendhi/dolkhi thing with a ton of bollywood music and booty shakin' (despite it being women only, I'd rather curl up with a book at home thank you). introverts zindabad?
9:57 PM
said...
So here's the deal, The Prophet (pbuh) shortened his trouser because people used to lengthen their trousers as a sign of vanity: to show their wealthiness. But the question is, what was the Prophet's (pbuh) actual message? If you said "not to show vanity", you're spot on. But many people keep their mind very limited and don't see it that way. You see, in this modern time and age, long trousers no longer means showing vanity. Shoing vanity is buying an expensive car when you damn well know you can get a simpler car with the same capacity alot cheaper, but you buy it because of show. So when the Prophet (pbuh) said "Whatever flows of trousers below the ankles will be in the hell fire." (Bukhari) he meant that all those who show vanity will be in hell fire.
Why do I tell you all this? Because when you say music is "Haram", do you actually understand why? Why did the Prophet (pbuh) allowed Duff? Are you asking all these hard questions which all the other muslims ignore?
My take on the issue is very similar to what rai says: It all depends upon the context; Are you listening to a music at disco? Discos are only there because of music, if there was no music, no disco, so I do agree that there is evil in music as well. But then when the old armies fight, they used Duff to pump up the soldiers, a technique used by muslims. So music is used for good as well.
So it becomes simpler: What context is the music you're refering to? Is it mehndi music? Is it songs that sisters sing to lighten their heart about their brother's/sisters's leaving? I think that would be a reasonable context.
So you can go, provided you tell your friend that a) Its not a mixed gathering, b) girls can dance between themselves so long awrah is not exposed c) you do not sing about gettin jiggy with boys or getting funky in the hot tub ;) you keep the context clean.
Now if you stand your ground, people will understand your motives, and will agree on your take on the issue. Just being firm on something you think is right is not generally a good thing. Find out more, dig deeper.
Wow, if you've read till here, you must have ALOT of time in your hands. Go away already!
4:12 PM
