Million Miles

My ventilator. Read, comment and judge me not.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

The usual.

I just got back home from a long strenuous bus journey, not to forget the usual hectic humdrum at school too. I don't know about others but for me its exhuasting enough to be at school. Although today I just had one class at eleven.
Right now I'm sitting on the pc and my mum is calling me for every possible chore in the world. I'm not allowed to show my irrittation because...
My cousin is giving me company although I've hinted her time and again that I'm busy, I'm working, getting your company is the last thing I want. But she has chosen not to get my drift. She is asking me all manner of questions and wouldn't settle for a 'hmmm' or 'haan' or 'waqy!' or kyoon?'. Isn't that annoying that sometimes people fail to see that that they are not WANTED? I mean its rude to point it out, obviously thats why we have gestures and frowns etc. Honestly I'm at great pains to show that I'm listening to her. She knows I'm occupied and she knows that its hard to carry on a chat in real life and online but still she wouldn't stop. I think she enjoys to see me stuck in awkward situtaions, where I have to choose between the internet and my cousin. But ah poor girl...doesn't have a clue that I'd OBVIOUSLY give preferance to...yes-you are right. To add further misery, she's placed her feet on my lap-talk about frankness! I wouldn't have minded that at all had they been less stinkier! I don't blame her, honestly I don't. I know how its like to have stinky feet. I've had them just too often. With all the rain and clouds recently, I know how she could get such a ridiculous smell. Its okay to be stinky as long as you're not giving anyone else's nose a hard time. When the stink first hit my nostrils, I thought it was just me being myself but on further sniffing, I realised that it had that distinct foreigness and it didn't take me much time to detect the source. Either my immune system failed to work or the smell was actually a lost case- that I don't know. But in any case I wish people could be a tad-bit considerate. So I'm forever whining about people, isn't it? I wasn't to blog about this. I had a completely different thing in mind but then this cousin came and I thought the best thing would be to record my grievances about her.

Lately I've noticed that there is always someone not talking to someone or someone not talking to everyone or everyone not talking to someone. You can tell when people are not talking by the way they pass each other. They'd roll their eyes over and over again, until the other person has clearly seen the disgust.In an effort to ignore they'd intently look at something which doesn't deserve a second glance, say for example a crow-the unspoken words are ' the crow is more worthy of my attention than you'. Or another trick is to observe the guilty party with an air of detachment making it clear that it wouldn't matter if you live or die. I know the tricks and I get the drifts because I've been in and out of this just too many times. I'd like to go over to people, tell them I'm sorry and say that I didn't 'intend' to hurt them but as usual my courage fails me when I need it the most. Sometimes even desperate attempts of reunion and countless apologies don't make any difference.

posted by Niqabi at 6:23 AM

Thursday, February 17, 2005

The usual.

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